Interesting times

Well two hospital visits for my husband, a two week cold for me, the same awful cold for three of my four boys, a Trojan worm and consequent crash for my computer and I'm finally able to be back.

I love Christmas but it didn't go well this year. The tree never was put up. I didn't get out a single Christmas card. Very little baking got done and then only because I begged the boys to do the lion share of it for me. The fact that they boys willing went to work to bake cookies for me tells how bad it was. I was beginning to sing "If We Make it Through December".

I spent Christmas day in the hospital with my husband but that was better than when he was sitting in ICU. I couldn't bare the thought of the boys spending Christmas in the hospital so a few days before I sent them to my mom and dad's. I know that they love those boys as much as I do. I also know that it was the best thing I could do for them, but I never can help but feel guilty when I do that. The irrational side of my brain says that if I were truly a good mother I could take care of a husband sitting ICU and make a perfect Christmas for my children, fill my part in the Christmas play, and get out cards to all our friends.

What's wrong with me?! I know that that is impossible. No one can do all of that. I did the best I could with the options I had. I know without a doubt that I did what was best for the boys, so why do I feel guilty?

Well I hope everyone's Christmas went more smoothly than mine and that you all have a blessed New Year.