Dealing With My Mother's Cancer

I have no where to go with all of this.  I can't take it to the boys, the older ones have lives of their own with all the problems that come with that.  My youngest doesn't need to deal with all this, he's already giving up quite a lot because of this he doesn't need to listen to my problems too.  My husband can only listen to so much before he's telling me "You already told me that."  The problem is it is the same thing every day and sometimes several times a day, so he thinks that he's heard it all before while I'm dealing with it over and over.  Friends and family say "if there's anything we can do..."  All the while either hoping I won't ask for or unable to give me the one thing I really need; which is a break.

So, all that said, I need a place to go, a place where no one knows either my mother or me, a place where I can vent without any one being shocked and saying "I can't believe she said that" or "I can't believe she did that"; because sometimes my mother is really frustrating and hurtful right now.  I don't want people to thing less of her or me as we walk through this.  I just want a place where I can dump it all and continue on.  I intend for this to be that place. 

If there is someone out there reading this, I'm sorry.  You really should probably find another place to be.  At this point in my life this blog won't be pretty unicorns, rainbows and butterflies.  It is about to become gritty and rough and not much fun, but I desperately need a place for my life to reflect that part of what's going on right now.  So If your not me, move on, don't stop here, go find someplace more fun. This will not be that place for you for quite some time.  If somehow you stumble into this place and won't take my advice to move on I refuse to be responsible for your depression.  Don't be telling me to cheer up and be happy, I will not respond well.  This is not the place for that.  It's just not, not right now.